Jazz Jackrabbit (MS-Dos) Video Review

Welcome to Video reviews in this first episode theRapist will take a look at the classic platform shooter for ms-dos, Jazz Jackrabbit.  

Quick Game info: Released 1994 by Epic games for  MS-Dos as a competitor to sega's "Sonic".

Outlaws review

Intro:

As a kid i used to play this game..
I never knew what it was called i just enjoyed playing it.
But later on, i started to remember the game i once played.
I searched high and low, desperatly trying to find it. But i could never find it!
Then suddenly it hit me Outlaws! That's what it's called, he first thing i did after that was to order it online and yup 2 days later it was my mailbox. :)

Review:
Outlaws is a game that was created in 1997 by Lucasarts, it's using the Jedi engine which was first used in the game Star Wars: Dark Forces. So what is this game about? Well you're a retired Marshall whose Wife gets killed and your daughter is kidnapped by outlaws. So you go on sort of a rampage trying to kill everybody that the outlaws hired to kill you. But i never really cared about the story it's good and all but..well it's way more awesome just to shoot everybody!
Seriously these are some of the best weapons ever! The shotgun is way more awesome than in any other game. But nothing is more badass than the knife..You can either stab the enemies or throw it against them. But since this is a cowboy game the levels are are pretty sweet as well. The first town is my favourite. Like Duke Nukem3D this game also has a lot of secret. But the differnce is the levels themselves are much more harder to figure out in outlaws.
But one of the worst things about playing this game nowadays is the multiplayer. Nobody ever does it!! But apart from that this is an okay game. Especially if you
like old skool games like me.

Dat cow iz saying: MOoooh!

Score:

I gave this game an 8 because it just isn't worth more, it's an awesome classic but it can sometimes be a bit glitchy and the levels can be too hard. But mostly because the gameplay and story doesn't really interest me that much. Not a bad game but not the game that i wish it should be.

Top10 free 2D PC-games

Free games are awesome and 2D games are also awesome...
That's why I'm making a Top10 free 2D PC-games. Enjoy!

Number 10: Phun
Domino! :D

Phun is a 2D physics sandbox, so you're bassicly in control of doing anything you want to. There are houndreds and houndreds of users of this game. And all over the interwebs you can see poeple that have created extremely advanced things like this for example: LINK
Even though this game is pretty cool, i have to put it on the number 10 spot because this isn't my type of game.

Number 9: 10800 Zombies

*Blood burst*

10800 Zombies, is propably the game with the weirdest title. Does it mean that there are 10800 zombies in the game? Well anyways it is a 16-bit shooter with tons of gore and a bunch of weapons so every time you play this game you just want to blow them to pieces!
Even though i love this game, i put it on number 9 because it's not bery original and the gameplay gets boring sometimes.

Number 8: CS2D

Counter Strike 2D is a top-down-shooter 2D remake of the classic FPS Counter strike.
But recently it has become more than just a remake. They've added tons of new maps/game styles like: Zombie/CTF/DM. But with new gamestyles you need GUNS lots and lots of guns!
So Unreal software (creator of CS2d) decided to add these weapons:
- Flare (removes Fog of War)
- Flamethrower
- Laser
- RPG Launcher
- Rocket Launcher
- Grenade Launcher
- Molotov Cocktail
- Gas Grenade
- Mine
- Airstrike
- Snowball
- Machete
- Wrench (Construction)
- Claw (Zombies)
- Chainsaw
- Laser Mines
- Portal Gun

With all these new guns it's hardly CS anymore so you wonder..will they make Half-Life2D?

Number 7: Mario Forever 4.4
JUMP!

Ah, who doesn't like a good ol' mario game? How about a free fanmade mario game? Yeah Mario Forever is a Super mario 3 styled game with new maps/power ups and sound effects. If you're a Mario fan (like me) then you'll love this game!

Number 6: Icy Tower

*I believe i can fly!

Icy Tower is probably the most addictive and original 2D game I've ever played. You're in this tower and you always have to jump up on platforms because they move down and of you touch the bottom of the screen you lose. You can do special jumps by running towards a wall and jumping. The game gets harder and harder because the platforms increase speed so you have to be ready to jump all the time.
Of course no game is complete without FREE character to download: LINK

Number 5: Teeworlds
Hiding in the shadows, sweet...

Teeworlds collect the gameplay from LieroX/Quake3/Unreal tournament but also toss in some new twists. Everything looks so cute It's like a kids game but don't gey fooled by the looks because these critters are insane gunslingers who does everything to kill eachothers!
The only let down is that there's no gore in it. It would fit so well in this game.

Number 4: Action Cyborg
Yeah motherf#%ker!

Action Cyborg is a 2D platformer-shooter, you play as Action Cyborg (i guess..) who apparantly just want to kill a bunch of bad guys, and of course they don't like it one bit so they try to shoot you down too! Weapons are just laying around everywhere so you can pick 'em up and blow people to pieces! (see picture)

Number 3: Soldat
'SPLODED?

Soldat is a game that takes ideas from Quake3/LieroX/Unreal Tournament/Counter strike (you get the point..) and uses it in a new way. Feeling blue? Take a chainsaw and destroy some people online! :)
There are 10 primary weapons and 4 secondary. But also there are 2 special weapons: Rambo bow and Flamethrower. The gameplay in this game is completely crazy! If you're new at this game you will get own'd all the fricken time! You can paly online or against bots either way you'll have an awesome time playing this game!

Number 2: Cartman's Authoritah
RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

Eric Cartman's the most badass kid ever, in this game he's not just angry he's so pissed off he kills people! Oh yeah this boy won't take orders from anyone but himself. To help him he has a baton, a rifle, flamethrower, rocket launcher and the V-chip. You hear Cartman saying qoutes from the tv-show once in a while and that just adds to the feelign that you're playing a South park game. Infact i don't think this game would be that funny if it wasn't south park. But that's what makes it so cool!

Number 1: Seal hunter

Seal hunter, a game about two fishermen trying to kill all the seals (and/or anything that can eat up their fish) The story is so weird but mostly you don't have time to care about it, because you're focusing on killing all the seals! What makes this game so cool is:

• The gore
• The weapons (11)
• The ability to play two players on the same computer.

This game is hard, and I'm talking super f#%king hard! It's easier if your two though but still...
Now two players on the same computer, might be a little lame sometimes that's why some guy(s) is making a mod! Yes you heard me Seal hunter the goriest, most violent, sickest game ever, is getting a modification. Check the mod out: LINK



Yeah there it is my first top10 list, hope you enjoyed it!

Duke Nukem 3D review

Hi and welcome to Bloodstained interwebs first review if you like it please give feedback on what i shoudl add/remove or change thanks.

Did you ever play a game as a kid? Maybe Super Mario? Maybe Doom? Everyone has a game that they played a kid, and when they play it again, they get an instant rush of nostalgia. That's the same sort of feeling i get one i play my favourite game:
Duke Nukem 3D.
This game was released in 1996, when i was two years old. So i didn't have the oppurtunity to play it back then, but later on when i was about 8 my dad got this game and i was hooked!

The gamepay is simple, get from point A to point B and shoot a bunch of bad guys. Right from the start you can choose between 3 different chapters they all have about 9 levels and and the last stage you fight a big ass boss!
The levels are very different from eachother and if you've beaten a level once, you never fortget it! There's also secrets hidden everywhere so you have to keep your eyes open in order to find some extra guns!

Seekrit stash, lol!

As you progress you get more and more weapons, but nothing, no weapon in any game can beat the allmighty RPG! Oh yeah this baby will blow the enemies in to a gory pixelated mess!

Now you see me, now your DEAD!

Here's a top ten list of all the weapons in this game:
10: Foot
9:Freezer
8:Booby traps
7:Pistol
6:Machine gun
5:PipeBomb
4:Shrinker
3:Shotgun
2:The devestators
1: RPG

The character "Duke Nukem" is the kind of guy who just want to kick some ass and get some boob. You constantly hear him say catch phrases, which seem pretty cheese and over-the-top but I like it that way. most gaming characters don't even have a voice these days!
But anyways let's get back to the case, Duke is a middle aged guy who's an action packed total badass, kind of like an american Arnold Schwarzenegger of gaming. He gets different missions in every Chapter, but it all comes down to shoot some bad guys, kick some ass and get some babes!

BOOM HEADSHOT!

Now of course if any old game get popular over the years it must get a remake and "sigh" of course this didn't make an exception in Duke Nukem 3D. So "Duke Nukem high resolutin pack" aka "eDuke3D" (don't ask.) And all i can say is: IT BLOWS
The original is awesome, classic and looks like an old sweet FPS. But the remake is just @$$! It seems like everything got r@ped by horrible polygons. Even if you are a fan of all high quality crap this will not fill your needs.


Duke nukem 3D:
10/10 Instant classic, awesome gore, cheesy over-the-top voice what more do you need?
eDuke3D:
4.5/10 okay remake but if you're gonna make a remake of Duke Nukem 3D make it GOOD!
The only reason to get it is:

Badly animated 3D polygons of breasts? oh yeah.

'til the next time:
Me iz outta hier!